So I gave internet dating a shot. (did I mention that pretty much everyone I've written about thus far I met on okcupid.com? I didn't? oh. surprise!) What did I get from it?
- A threesome
- a bunch of bruises (the good kind)
- illicit sex in an alleyway
- at least one love song.
I made it out alive with nary a bruised ego.
Well, there was the one cute older guy I had sushi with. He worked for some software company that handled proprietary new ideas and was so proprietary he basically couldn’t tell me anything about it. But he had rakish black curls and an easy going manner, and I was ready to make out with him right away even if he was working for the next Manhattan Project.
I thought the date was going splendidly, until he dropped me off on my doorstep, gave me a hug and said “Well, we know how to get a hold of each other.”
Whoa.
Shit. I thought. I guess that date didn’t go so well.
I mean, it’s one thing to not call, but the sympathy hug paired with the “we know how to get a hold of each other” line is date-talk for “I hate you.”
Oh well. As a not very successful dating website once said: there are “plenty of fish.”
Maybe I’ll try meeting people the old fashioned way.
I’ll have my father gather my dowry and plan a trip to the next township. I can’t wait to meet some Austrian aristocracy.
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